Friday, February 05, 2010

Irreversible

Yesterday, as a first thing in the morning, got to read a blog post from a dear friend, whose grand dad had passed away 2 months before and what's it for him since then! I was touched emotionally and remembered a lot about my grand dad, 'thaatha' as we fondly call him!
Though there were a few things that I was not able to digest about him, he really was a passionate soul, a man who lived with a lot of love and dignity, respect and good will and loads like that. Till his last breathe he got up at 4 in the morning, read baghavatham and Mahabharatham. He is one man who is a strong cause for me to be a fervent admirer of Vishnu. The first words of "Om namo Narayana" that I learned was from him. The slokas that I quote in my everyday prayers were from him.
I remember he taught me a tamil slogam on Lordess 'Abirami' which was part of the 'seyyul' (part of the subject that has series of poetry) in my 11th std Tamil subject and I was the first one to recite it out in the whole class. And it was just a year after he passed away. Meanwhile I had a childhood friend in my class who knew that I already knew that slogam. She asked me 'Hey you know this already right!? You grandfather had taught you, you have told me'. I can't just put it in words how proud I felt of him that moment!
Mom never takes a single rupee extra for anything from anybody. Any kind of money related transactions she does to more than an extent of perfection. A lot of people have praised her on that. But, mom keeps saying that she had got it from her father, ie my grand father. Mom is just a 8th std passed out and she does the accounts for me today, just so perfect and efficient. Without her I'm not sure if I can do well at my finance!
Thaatha's business was lending money for interest. He had lot of customers from different banks. As the tradition goes in those days, most of those people who worked for banks were Brahmins and they used to come home sometimes. When we used to go there for quarterly/half-yearly/annual holiday, we used to see them when they come home and they talk so much about my thaatha's spirituality, dedication and commitment towards God and his work. Why I mentioned about Brahmins is that, we are non-Brahmins and the tradition says, brahmins are those people who are close to God and they are highly spiritual. So getting such a compliment from those people was really rare in those days!
Thaatha had 4 big bungalows out of which 3 he sold out for 3 of his daughter's weddings and the 4th one is where he lived during his last days. The house was so big and kept reminding me of his eminence, given that he started from scratch with nobody's help! All the houses were at Saidapet and mom used to tell me that thaatha during his initial days of business used to walk all the way from Saidapet to mylapore to meet customers. It did not take him too long to buy a car or earn loads in life, he was a lot smart and intelligent! He had seen the best and worst in life!
I can easily write a min 300 pages book about him. You may think why do i write all about it now, simple reason is that this really takes me all the way back to my childhood and I'm enjoying myself writing about him. After all, for everyone thinking about their childhood is a blissful feeling.
Thaatha was a regular alcohol consumer. He can't do without a quarter bottle of brandi everyday. Paati (grandma) used to collect all those bottles and we used to play with them sometimes. End of the year she used to make a good amount of money by selling them off to those people who come on bicycles to collect bottles, papers, plactics etc I'm not seeing even one on the roads these days :( His routines start at 4AM. He gets up, does the morning chores, prayers and depending on the season he reads the epics/gita/thirupaavai/thiruvembavai etc. He has his filter coffee, reads paper, goes out by 7-8AM to meet the customers for collection, comes back at 9.30 for breakfast. Our breakfast used to be the hot full meals with sambhar, rasam and poriyal. He goes for the next round of collection and comes home for lunch. Lunch used to be chapathis or some tiffin. Post lunch he does his accounts and then takes rest. He again gets up for his cup of coffee by 4PM, gets ready after a chit-chat with us and paati and then goes out for work by 5-5.30. Sometimes for work, sometimes with family.
Weekends he used to take time out for paati, takes her to the beasant nagar temple and beach in the evening and they come back home for dinner. When we used to be there on holidays, we used to replace paati if we are more than 3, else we used to accompany them, "on his bullet"!! His built was nothing more than what you see in Rajinikanth. But he rode his huge bullet till his last breathe.
The most enjoyable part of his routine for us was the after 8PM sessions, when he sits with his glass of brandi and the mahabharatham, with all of us around him. He reads out phrases and explains, while I write this, I can hear his voice and the modulations he used to explain us the various stories from the epic.
Mom and her bro and sisters had done their 60th wedding in chidambaram temple, at this particular place called 'nadana sabai**' inside the temple. One of those beautiful weddings that I have ever seen in this universe was that, when I was in my 6th standard. They looked so awesome together. I wore a red color pattu paavadai (silk skirt) in the wedding, I felt so elated to be there in the temple watching them getting married. And it was one of my shallow wish to do my wedding also in the same place in the chidambaram temple in front of Natarajar. There were a lot of people that day who came in to get their blessings. I wonder at the crowd that comes in for a wedding or any function that happens at home for that matter. It isn't that easy to earn a lot of people in life who would be willing to join in when you celebrate/regret something that's so personal to you. Thaatha made sure that he gifted paati an expensive silk saree for their wedding day till he was 64. The lesson that he taught us that love doesn't fade away with age.
I was one of the closest pethis(pronunciation: paythii; meaning - grand daughter) thaatha ever had. Next to Aishu, he liked me the most when it comes to studies and grasping things. given that we were the high scorers in our classes always. He points out Aishu to me for her calm composure, respect and sincerity. He used to tell me so much that I should do my IAS and become an IAS officer. I somehow could not do it for him; regret that I'm not sure if I can do it in the future also :( The other thing that I deeply regret about is that he passed away just before my 10th std public exam that which earned me districk rank! he admired me so much for my studies, but he couldn't stay back to see me winning the first laurel that I earned for my studies in life. Life is so unfair sometimes.
Even after he turned quite old, visiting Chidambaram and us was his favorite activity and he considered that was his foremost duty. He was very close to my mom, given that my dad did not so good at his business. He had felt bad several times to me that he got my mom married to an irresponsible person and that was the biggest mistake he had ever done in his life! I felt bad for thaatha, but I felt worse for appa :( Whenever he plans on outstation tours, he made sure he included me along with my cousins, but he never took money from mom for that whereas all my aunts used to give him. Madurai Meenakshi amman temple was one of the temples I definitely wanted to go and it was only because of him. Not sure otherwise if I would have got to go ever in life. The place that I liked most was the kumbakarai falls at theni that I visited with him. Thaatha had a customer by name 'Rammohan' who was working for Indian bank, theni branch. His house was so close to director Bharathiraja's house and all the 4 days when we stayed there we used to take a walk around that area. There was one old lady whom people claimed the director's mother and the same lady who acted in the movie 'karuthamma'.
Mom feels bad that thaatha had seen us only suffering in life and when we could actually be doing good and better in life, he could not be there with us. She also consoles us and herself saying he is there with much more powers and much closer to God now!
As I mentioned, there is loads and loads to write about him. But I'm stopping it here for I'm not able to wait to read this blog post myself! I wanna see how it has come out!
Amidst those people who just take a few hours to forget the months old friendship in this materialistic world, my thaatha is one person who had taught all of us, me, amma, periyamma and everybody at home, what it takes to be bonded with people in this world. How important is it to love and care for people! Hope I do it atleast to the least bit of extent what he actually wanted me to! I miss you!

** - Puranam says that nadana sabai is where Natarajar and Parvathy had a competition (dance - to be specific bharatanatyam); Parthvathy lost, got angry and became kaali and went and sat at 'oor ellai' (extremity of the town) where they built another temple for her.